Jokes  part 1
A couple of jokes about the biggest egoist of the Formula 1 all times
  Michael Schumacher
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Why has Schumi ten Polish mechanics ???
Because they are the best car shovers of the world !!!
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Four Formula 1 fans climb on a mountain, one fan of Jos Verstappen, one fan of Mika Hakkinen,
one fan of David Couldhard and one fan of Michael Schumacher.
They all say they are the best fan of their favourite.
When the are on the top, Jos his fan jumps of the mountain and screams: This is for Verstappen !!!
Then David his fan jumps after him and screams: This is for Coulthard !!!
Then Hakkinen his fan takes the Schumacher-fan and throws him of the mountain and he screams:
This is for the whole world !!!
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What is the difference between Schumacher and God ???
God doesnít think he is Schumacher !!!
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How many mechanics do change the tyres of Schumacherís car ???
25. Four for the new wheels, four for the old wheels and the others have to lift the car !!!
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What is the same between Michael Schumacher and the Dutch soccer team ???
They both will never become world champion again !!!
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Ralf en Michael Schumacher are playing cards. Ralf asks: Why do you always win with playing
cards and never in the Formula 1 ??? Then Michael says:
Have you ever tried to put a Ferrari in your sleeve ???
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Why are there three beds in Schumacherís bedroom ???
One for Corinna, the second for Michael and the third for his chin !!!
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Ralf Schumacher, Heinz-Harald Frentzen and Michael Schumacher are already a month on an island. One day they found a magic chest. When Frentzen cleaned it there came a ghost out of the magic chest who said: Everybody can make a wish. Frentzen wished he could go home and yes, Frentzen is back home. Ralf wished the same and heís back home too. At last Michael could do his wish and said:
I think itís very quite here, I wish Ralf and Heinz-Harald come back immediatly !!!
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The Santa Claus comes to Michael Schumacher and asks him: What do you like best:
Cristmas celebration or a victory in the Formula 1 ???
Schumi responds: Christmas of course, because that is every year.
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What is Schumacher without his racing car ???
As fast as a turtle !!!
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Why is Schumacher his car yellow next year ???
Because of his new sponsor: Chiquita Bananas.
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A pressman asks to Schumacher: "Why donít you have a mirror in your car?"
 Schumacher says: "I always shave me at home."
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Schumacher and his family are driving on the highway and the police let them stop.

Schumacher:

"Whatís the problem?"

Policeman:

"You were driving at least 145 km/h! Thatís faster than youíve ever driven in your Formula 1 career!"

Schumacher:

"No way, I drove 95 km/h!"

Corinna:

"Oh Michael, you were driving 150 km/h!"

Policeman:

"And I give you a fine for that broken rear light."

Schumacher:

"Broken rear light?? I didnít know that!"

Corinna:

"Oh Michael, you knew that three weeks ago."

Policeman:

"You didnít wear safety belts."

Schumacher:

"I just took it of, because you let me stop."

Corinna:

"Oh Michael, you never wear safety belts !"

Schumacher:

"Would you please shut up?"

Policeman:

"Does your man always talk like that to you, Misses Schumacher?"

Corinna:

"Oh no, only if he is drunken."

Policeman:

"Would you please get out of the car?"

Corinna:

"I told you we wouldnít get far in a stolen car!"
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Michael and Corinna are cosy picnicing. Somewhen there is only one biscuit left.
Corinna: "Shall I break it into two pieces ???"
Michael: "Oh no, I will eat it alone !!!"
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The police let Schumacher stop with his bike in the evening.
Policeman: Your rear light is broken. Schumacher: I know that.
Policeman: Than you have to walk.
 Schumacher: I tried that too but it doesnít help !!!
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If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!
anti-schumacher@home.nl