Jokes  part 2
Schumacher is in love with the woman next door, but he is a bit shy.
One day Schumacher goes to the woman next door and he gives her flowers.
Then the woman next door takes her clothes of and lays with her legs wide apart
on the settle. Schumacher says:
"Haven't you got a vase where I can put these flowers in???"   
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Schumacher sits in a pub and he has to go to the men's room. He asks a barman who says that the men's room is upstairs. Schumacher goes upstairs but he can't find the
men's room so he takes a seat on an iron box. After ten minutes he comes downstairs again and everybody is gone. The barman says:
"Shit, someone has crapped in the airconditioning!" 
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Michael comes wild and excited at home and screams: "Mum,Mum, I'm not a virgin
anymore." "Well," his mother says, "that is something very special, go and tell
it your dad." He goes to his dad and says: "Daddy, Daddy, I'm not a virgin
anymore." His Dad says: "Michael this is a very important moment in your live,
we have to talk about it, so take a seat." Michael says:
"Well, Dad, I want to talk about it but taking a seat is very painful at the moment."

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Michael and his brother Ralf Schumacher are in London.
Little brother Ralf asks: "What's that over there?"
"O, that's a boat," Michael says.
"How do you spell that word?" little Ralf asks.
"B O A T."
Then they walk further and little Ralf asks again:
"What's that?"
"That's an hovercraft," Michael says.
"How do you spell that word?" little Ralf asks again.
Michael says: "I'm sorry, it's a boat...."
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  In the train are two men telling each other some jokes. At one moment one man says:
"I know a good joke about Schumacher." Then the other man says:
"Yes but I am Schumacher." The first man says:
"That doesn't mather, I'll tell it twice...."
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Michael and Ralf sit in a pub. They both stammer. Two old men take a seat next to them and are talking about their prostate problems.
Ralf asks to Michael: Wwwell Mmmichael, wwwhat are ppprostate ppproblems???
Michael says: Wwwell Rrralf, ttthat are mmmen wwwho hhhave a llleak lllike
wwwe tttalk !!!
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  Michael and Corinna are married for 25 years. "What shall we do today?"
asks Michael. Corinna says:
"What do you think about being quiet for a minute."
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In an hospital three women are giving birth to three baby's at the same time.
The fathers, (Schumacher, an African and a Dutchman ) come to take the children with them but the hospital has made a mistake. They exchange the baby's. The Dutchman hears this and takes the black baby. A nurse asks: "Are you sure this is your baby?"
The Duchman says: " No, but I'm sure it's not Schumacher's baby..."   
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Corinna walks in the park with a tampon behind her ear. Michael walks behind her and
says to her that she has a tampon behind her ear. Corinna feels behind her ear
and says:
"The devil! Where is my sigaret???"
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Michael says to Ralf: I've been on holidays to Italy for three times now, and three times Corinna was pregnant. Then Ralf says: Go on holiday in an other country !
Michael says: Well no, I think I'll take her with me next time !!!
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A dentist asked to Schumacher: "Don't you have an arse?" "Why?" Michael asked.
The dentist said: "Because you have such a bad breath !!!"
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Schumacher goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, I want to let me castrate."
"Castrate?" the doctor says,"are you sure?"
"Yes," Schumacher says,"a friend of mine has done it too and now
he is very popular by the women."
"OK then," the doctor says and he takes everything away.
After a week Schumacher sees his friend who says:
"And, have you got a tattoo now?"
Then Schumacher says: " Those difficult words all the time !!!"
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Schumacher jumps out of an airplane. When the time is there, he pulls on his parachute.
Nothing happens. Then he pulls on his reserve-parachute. Nothing happens. He falls to the ground very fast. Then someone goes up at a bound with burned clothes.
Schumacher screams: "Do you know anything from parachutes?"
The other screams: "No, I don't and I don't know anything from gas heaters too. 
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What's the difference between Schumacher and a christmas tree?
Nothing, the balls are only for decoration.

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Corinna comes home with a BIG SMILE on her face. Michael says:
"What happened that made you so happy?" Corinna says:
"I won the first price in the lottery, so take your clothes!"
"Yes," Michael says,"summer- or winterclothes?"
Corinna: "That doesn't mather, you just have to piss off."

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What's the difference between Schumacher and a battery???
A battery has a positive side.

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If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!
anti-schumacher@home.nl