Jokes  part 3
What's the difference between Schumacher and a photo?
A photo is developed yet.
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Schumacher comes to a housing association. He says: "I'm looking for a house."
The clerk says: "Do you have a priority statement?" "No." says Schumacher.
The clerk says: "Come back after twelve years then."
Schumacher: "In the morning or in the afternoon???"
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Schumacher says to his son: "The stork has brought us a sister."
His son says: "There are so many beautiful women, and what do you do???
You are going to bed with a stork !!!
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Corinna goes to the doctor. The doctor asks: "You want to lose weight again?"
"No, I don't," Corinna says, "I want you to blow up my breast but I don't want silicoons because I hear very strange things about them." "Then we could do only one thing," the doctor says, "you have to rub with a toiletpaper between your breast
every day." "What do you mean?" Corinna says, "That isn't possible!"
"Of course it is," the doctor says, "you did it with your arse too !!!"
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What did Schumacher say after the press conference in Imola 2000???
"Very strong, that Fisherman's Friend !!!"
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David Coulthard, Eddie Irvine and Michael Schumacher are talking.
Coulthard: "I've got such a big house that I have to look through a telescope
to see  my frontdoor."
Irvine: "I've got such a big house that I need one hour to drive around my house."
Schumacher says: "I have a car like that too."
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Why does Schumacher drive in a Ferrari in his private life too???
Now he can prepare his next crash !!! 
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What stands out if you compare Schumacher with a donkey ???
Then you can see that a donkey doesn't look that stupid !!!
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Hakkinen, Coulthard and Schumacher went to a funfair wich had a lie detector.
Hakkinen said: "That's nice, I'll try it out." So he put a coin in it and said:
"I think I've got the most beautiful wife in the world."
The lie detector: BIEP !
"Let me try." Coulthard said. So he put also a coin in it and said:
"I think I have the prettiest girlfriend of Europe." BIEP !
Then Schumacher put a coin in it and said:
"I think......"
BIEP BIEP BIEP BIEP BIEP !!!
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A man comes in hell. There are a lot of clocks in the hell. One clock is fast, an other
one isn't. The man asks to the devil: "Why are here so many clocks?"
The devil explains: "Each clock belongs to someone on earth. Every time if that person lies, the clock is getting faster." Then the man sees a clock which is very fast.
He asks: "Whose clock is that?" The devil:
"That clock belongs to Michael Schumacher; we use it as a ventilator !!!"
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Schumacher walks through Jerusalem. He is on a place were are many people.
Schumacher asks a passer-by: "Why are here so many people?"
The man says: "In a little while there will be a few camels with nude ladies."
"That's nice," Schumacher says,
"then I'll stay, because I haven't seen a camel in years !!!"
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Schumacher is in the building of the Guinness Book of Records and he says:
"I've just made a puzzle of 3000 pieces. It took me 1 year, 3 months
and 2 days." The man says: "But that isn't something special, is it?"
"Of course it is," Schumacher says, "on the box it says: 6-12 years !!!"
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Michael and Corinna are walking in Paris. Corinna looks to a beautiful dress
in a shop window. "Do you like it?"Michael asks. "Yes, I do." Corinna says.
Michael: "Do you really like it ?" "Yes, I think it's beautiful." Corinna says.
"Well," Michael says, "we'll look at it again tomorrow !!!"
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Why can't Schumacher make a mistake ???
Because making mistakes is human !!!
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A man sits in a pub, he is having a pint. If he goes to the men's room, he sees 3 gays who are 'busy'. The man goes to the barman and says: "There are 3 gays in the
men's room !" "Does the man in the middle have a big chin?" the barman asks.
"Yes." the man says. "And is he wearing a Ferrari overall?" "Yes."
The barman: "Yes, that's Schumacher. Yesterday with racing he was that lucky too !!!"
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Why are we getting argument with Schumacher in 20 years?
Then he understands our jokes about him !!!
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If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!
anti-schumacher@home.nl