Jokes  part 3
What's the difference between Schumacher and a photo?
A photo is developed yet.
Schumacher comes to a housing association. He says: "I'm looking for a house."
The clerk says: "Do you have a priority statement?" "No." says Schumacher.
The clerk says: "Come back after twelve years then."
Schumacher: "In the morning or in the afternoon???"
Schumacher says to his son: "The stork has brought us a sister."
His son says: "There are so many beautiful women, and what do you do???
You are going to bed with a stork !!!
Corinna goes to the doctor. The doctor asks: "You want to lose weight again?"
"No, I don't," Corinna says, "I want you to blow up my breast but I don't want silicoons because I hear very strange things about them." "Then we could do only one thing," the doctor says, "you have to rub with a toiletpaper between your breast
every day." "What do you mean?" Corinna says, "That isn't possible!"
"Of course it is," the doctor says, "you did it with your arse too !!!"
What did Schumacher say after the press conference in Imola 2000???
"Very strong, that Fisherman's Friend !!!"
David Coulthard, Eddie Irvine and Michael Schumacher are talking.
Coulthard: "I've got such a big house that I have to look through a telescope
to see  my frontdoor."
Irvine: "I've got such a big house that I need one hour to drive around my house."
Schumacher says: "I have a car like that too."
Why does Schumacher drive in a Ferrari in his private life too???
Now he can prepare his next crash !!! 
What stands out if you compare Schumacher with a donkey ???
Then you can see that a donkey doesn't look that stupid !!!
Hakkinen, Coulthard and Schumacher went to a funfair wich had a lie detector.
Hakkinen said: "That's nice, I'll try it out." So he put a coin in it and said:
"I think I've got the most beautiful wife in the world."
The lie detector: BIEP !
"Let me try." Coulthard said. So he put also a coin in it and said:
"I think I have the prettiest girlfriend of Europe." BIEP !
Then Schumacher put a coin in it and said:
"I think......"
A man comes in hell. There are a lot of clocks in the hell. One clock is fast, an other
one isn't. The man asks to the devil: "Why are here so many clocks?"
The devil explains: "Each clock belongs to someone on earth. Every time if that person lies, the clock is getting faster." Then the man sees a clock which is very fast.
He asks: "Whose clock is that?" The devil:
"That clock belongs to Michael Schumacher; we use it as a ventilator !!!"
Schumacher walks through Jerusalem. He is on a place were are many people.
Schumacher asks a passer-by: "Why are here so many people?"
The man says: "In a little while there will be a few camels with nude ladies."
"That's nice," Schumacher says,
"then I'll stay, because I haven't seen a camel in years !!!"
Schumacher is in the building of the Guinness Book of Records and he says:
"I've just made a puzzle of 3000 pieces. It took me 1 year, 3 months
and 2 days." The man says: "But that isn't something special, is it?"
"Of course it is," Schumacher says, "on the box it says: 6-12 years !!!"
Michael and Corinna are walking in Paris. Corinna looks to a beautiful dress
in a shop window. "Do you like it?"Michael asks. "Yes, I do." Corinna says.
Michael: "Do you really like it ?" "Yes, I think it's beautiful." Corinna says.
"Well," Michael says, "we'll look at it again tomorrow !!!"
Why can't Schumacher make a mistake ???
Because making mistakes is human !!!
A man sits in a pub, he is having a pint. If he goes to the men's room, he sees 3 gays who are 'busy'. The man goes to the barman and says: "There are 3 gays in the
men's room !" "Does the man in the middle have a big chin?" the barman asks.
"Yes." the man says. "And is he wearing a Ferrari overall?" "Yes."
The barman: "Yes, that's Schumacher. Yesterday with racing he was that lucky too !!!"
Why are we getting argument with Schumacher in 20 years?
Then he understands our jokes about him !!!
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If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!