Jokes  part 4
Schumacher and Hakkinen are sitting in the train.
Hakkinen gets a plastic sack  with pips in it out of his coat pocket.
He takes some of the pips and eats them up.
After a few minutes he does it again. Schumacher asks:
"Why are you eating those pips?" "Because you become
very clever then," Hakkinen says.
"Do you want to sell a few pips?" Schumacher asks.
"Of course", Hakkinen says, "$100 each."
"Well, give me five then," Schumacher says. Hakkinen gives
Schumacher five pips. Schumacher eats some of his pips and
thinks: those pips are very expensive !!!
Schumacher says to Hakkinen: "Don't you think those
pips are to expensive ? With that much money I can buy
a lot of apples and then I get those pips for free !!!
Hakkinen says: "Well, you see, I told you you would become clever !!!"
-----
Schumacher comes  with a pig at a square in Germany.
A policeman asks: "Where did you get that ?"
"At the funfair !!!" answers the pig.
-----

Schumacher, Frentzen and Verstappen are in
a swimming pool. The bath-assistant says this is a
"magic" swimming pool. "If you dive in the pool and you
scream what you would like to have in the pool, it will
be there!" Verstappen wants to go first. He dives and
screams "money". Now he doesn't tumble in water but
 in money. Frentzen wants to try this also. He dives and
screams "beer". And he tumbles in a pool with beer.
Then it's Schumacher's turn.
He also wants to dive but he slips and screams "shit!!!"

-----
Michael and Ralf are fishing in a little boat, on a lake. They
land a lot of fish. "Well," says Michael:
"this is a good place. We should mark this place."
"That's a good idea", says Ralf en he draws
a big cross on the back of the boat.
Then they go back to the edge. Suddenly Michael says:
"That wasn't to smart, about that cross:
 who says we'll get the same boat next week!"
-----
Frentzen meets Schumacher who is just married. "You don't look very happy," says Frentzen . "That's right," says Schumacher. "What's up?" asks Frentzen, "doesn't your wife cook good?" "She cooks very good," says Schumacher,
"I increased 3 kilo ."
"Doesn't your wife clean up the house good?" asks Frentzen. Says Schumacher:
"Our whole house is very clean!"
"Why are you so unhappy then?" asks Frentzen,
 "Isn't your wife good in bed?"
"Well," says Schumacher, "One says yes, the other says no..."
-----

There is a drunken man sitting oppesite Schumacher in the train.
The drunken man says: "Hip, sir, you are so ugly!"
Says Schumacher: "And you are drunken."
"Yes, hip," says the man,
"hip, but that will be over tomorrow."

-----
After the crash in Silverstone the severely injured Schumacher comes in the first aid post ."Name?", asks the nurse. " Schumacher " answers Schumacher. The nurse: "Married?" Schumacher answers:
 "No, a crash in the formula 1."
-----
The boss of Ferrari asks to Schumacher:
"You drive slow, you talk slow and you walk slow.
Is there nothing you can do quick ???
Schumacher: "Oh yes, there is. I'm tired very quickly."
-----

Schumacher and his wife and children are eating in a restaurant.
They don't eat up all the food and Schumacher asks the waiter
if he has a plastic sack to take away the rest of the food for their dog.
Corinna: "Hurrah !!! We'll get a dog !!!"

-----

Schumacher says to his wife: "Corinna, put one liter water in the soup.
We'll get gasts."

-----

 Why has Schumacher a pointed chin and a flat forehead?
If you ask him how much 1+1 is, he rubs one's chin and
if you tell him it is 2, he hits his forehead
with his hands and says
"The devil, that's true !!!"

-----

Why doesn't Schumacher never plays at hide-and-seek ???
Because there is nobody who will come and seek him !!!

-----

A very angry Corinna says to her husband Michael:
"You smell of alcohol and you have lipstick on your cheek.
You have a very good reason to walk around here
at 6 o'clock in the morning, may I take !?!"
"Yes , of course I have," answers Schumacher: "BREAKFAST"

-----

Schumacher doesn't feel so well and goes at Frentzen's advice to the doktor.
After that, Schumacher comes home and says he must
hand in motion and urine for further medical examination. Frentzen says:
"Take your racing-overall with you, everything is still in there !!!"

-----

 

Michael Schumacher's son comes at home with his report.
Schumacher asks: "Everything allright ???"
"Yes," his son says,
"I have continued my agreement with the fourth grade !!!"

-----

Michael Schumacher, Ralf Schumacher and H.H. Frentzen
are in a pub. Frentzen says: "My wife is so frigid,
if I put a ice cube in her imbilicus it is still frozen
the next day." Ralf Schumacher says: "That is nothing.
If I put a glass of water on mine,
the next day it is frozen." Michael Schumacher says:
"That is also nothing.
When Corinna spreads out her legs,
the central heating turns on !!!"

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If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!

anti-schumacher@home.nl