Jokes  part 6
Corinna says to her female friend: 'Have you ever nabbed your man? Last week I found a rubber in my man's car.' Her female friend says: 'What did you do with it?'
Corinna: 'I pricked a little hole in it.'
Female friend: 'Well, thanks then !!!'
-----
The teacher at the primary school says: 'I'm going to define an animal, and you have to guess what I meant.' And she starts: 'It walks on a farm and it gives milk.' Michael answers: 'A cow.' 'That's right,' says the teacher, 'but I meant a goat.' Then she says: 'It walks on a farm, has feather and lays eggs.' Michael says: 'A chicken.' 'That's right,' says the teacher, 'but I meant a duck.' Michael gets angry and says to the teacher: 'Now you have to guess: You put it in your mouth when it's hard, and it comes out there soft and wet.' The teacher's head turns very red.
'That's right,' says Michael, 'but I meant chewing gum !!!'
-----

Michael says to Ralf: 'Our mother is pregnant, and I have done that.' Ralf: 'How did you do that ?'
Michael: 'Well, I changed her pill for an aspirin tablet.'

-----
Schumacher goes to the psychiatrist. 'Doctor, every night I dream that there are two young naked lady's next to my bed.' Doctor: 'Well, now you want me to stop that dream ?'
'No, that's not the ulterior motive,' says Schumacher, who is turning red now.

'I only wanted to ask you if you could make those lady's stay a bit longer.'
-----
The jealous Corinna checks her man Michael's coat every day and every time she finds a hair, when it
is blond, brown or grew, she gets very angry. When she doesn't find any hair at one evening,
she starts crying and screams to Michael:
'It's awful !!! You can't even leave bare women alone !!!'
-----

Michael isn't sure which of the two lady's he wants to marry with; the doctors assistant
or the teacher. His friend says to him: 'Marry the teacher!
The doctors assistant says all the time: 'Next question.'
But the teacher says: 'So, and now we are going to repeat everything once.'

-----
Verstappen, Hakkinen and Michael Schumacher are sitting at a bar drinking a beer and are bragging. 'I have got 36 skyscrapers,' says Verstappen. 'I have got 42 planes' brags Hakkinen. 'I have got a cock of 2 metres and I'm from Cologne.' says Schumacher. The next day, the men are sitting at the bar again, Verstappen: 'I lied a bit yesterday, I only have 21 skyscrapers.' Hakkinen: 'Funny, because I lied too yesterday, I only have 24 planes.'
Then they look to Schumacher .
'Allright, allright,' says Schumacher, 'I have lied too... I don't come from Cologne.'
-----

Schumacher walks on a quit beach and decides to go into the water. He takes off his clothes and goes into the sea naked. When he wants to come out of the sea after a little time, he sees a woman standing next to his clothes. He searches something to cover his willie and sees an old saucepan lying on the beach. He takes it and walks to the woman like a modern Adam. He says to the woman: 'Don't say anything, I know exactly what you are thinking.'
The woman: 'Oh, but I also know exactly what you are thinking.' 'Oh yes?' asks Schumacher.
'Yes,' says the woman, 'you are thinking there is a bottom in that saucepan.'

-----

Mother asks the ten-years-old Michael: 'Where have you been today?' Michael: ' In the forest, with our new girl next door Marie-Louise.' Mother: 'And what did you do the whole day?'
Michael: 'I don't know what it is called, but it's going to be my new hobby !!!'

-----

Michael wrote a letter to his wife and made a drawing. He wrote:
'Sorry, this is not a real Picasso, but the hookers here at the Formula 1 ask a lot of money'
She wrote back: 'Don't pay them more than 25.... I don't get more here !!!'

-----

Michael and a girl are walking through a forest. On a nice place they are going to lie
and mess around. Suddenly Michael asks: 'Do you want to hold my cock for a while ???'
The girl says: 'Why, where are you going to then ???'

-----

The married couple Schumacher comes with a prescription for Viagra at the
chemist's and Michael asks what the pills cost. 'They are $20 each,' answers the chemist.
'That's very expensive', says Michael.
'Don't be so petty-minded', says his wife, 'what are $40 each year ???'

-----

Michael's mother is called at the rector. 'The situation is very worrying,' explains the rector. 'Your son came at school wearing a dress and nylonstockings.' 'That's not my fault,' says Michael's mother.
'I have told him so many times to stay out of his father's clothes.'

-----

Schumacher brings his car to the garage because he heard a strange sound when he was driving. When he wants to take the car that evening, he sees that it is totally taken apart. The mechanic stands next to it with a very red head: 'Sorry, Schumacher, it wasn't easy. It's prepared tomorrow afternoon. But we found the cause !'
'Oh, what was wrong then ?', asks Schumacher. Mechanic:
'I think your son is responsable; there was namely a marble in the ashtray !!!'

-----

When the little Michael came at school in the morning, he said to the teacher: 'I have slept at mummy's bed last night.' 'I slept at mummy's bed last night,' corrected the teacher.
Michael reacted: 'Oh, have not seen you last night !!!'

-----

Michael: 'Daddy, I had to stay in after school.' Daddy (angry): 'Where was that for?'
Michael: 'I didn't know where the Alps were, daddy.'
Daddy: 'I have told you so many times that you have to tidy up your things !!!'
-----
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] next page
If you have any comments or new jokes mail me !!!

anti-schumacher@home.nl